To the Christian:

You hold fast to your belief that a god made humans in some private garden for the purpose of communing with them. In this garden he planted an exquisite array of fruits and vegetables suitable for their consumption, caused animals to be at peace with one another, and regularly enjoyed walking with his finest creation. Oblivious to their rapidly approaching fall, our ancestors were basking in the warmth of their perfect domain, aware of only one prohibition -- "[O]f the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat of it: for in the day that you eat thereof you shall surely die." Having little to do, God perhaps sought entertainment in placing a serpent, "more cunning than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made," in the garden. Many of you maintain that this serpent actually spoke to Eve. The serpent was allowed to deceive Eve. Oh, sin of sins, most horrible of all, Eve was tricked and didn't even realize how terrible this was, having been childlike in her understanding of obedience and disobedience. It was not until she was punished that she realized her sad state. Thankfully she wasn't hungry enough to eat the fruit from the Tree of Life; that would have undermined the punishment they were warned about, namely death. Having escaped that hurdle in the plan, God takes a quick wait-for-Adam-to-eat-the-fruit breather. Why didn't Eve stop to point out her nipples to make Adam think she was acting funny?

"Hey, Adam, have you ever noticed these? They look neat. I think I need something to cover them," an enlightened Eve may have pondered.

Adam and Eve, having both eaten the fruit, are now aware that they are naked. God comes in with a booming, "Where are you?" Not the punctual type, God errs on the side of negligence during the trial of eternity. Why? You may say that God wanted to show us how good he was and could only accomplish so grand a task by allowing us to experience suffering and darkness at the expense of our perpetual bliss in his presence. Of course God wanted to show us his mercy by convicting us of being tricked by his own wicked creation. Yet you'll maintain that God didn't make the wicked one, he just created its predecessor, Lucifer. Where do you get that story? Isaiah 14, perhaps, has the only reference to a created being who thought to usurp the thrown of God. Even a small study of that passage reveals something interesting: Lucifer referred to an actual king who sought to dominate the region. Nothing in this story says that Lucifer and the serpent are one, leading us back to the idea of a created evil one. Irrespective of the original design of the evil one, God, in his perfect knowledge, created a being with the intent of utilizing it in the garden. Sadly, this being will receive the same ultimate fate as nonbelievers. Are we equal with complete evil?

You believe that man inherited wickedness from Adam and Eve. Having outlined the story, I fail to see the wickedness. They were tricked, clearly and plainly. No interpretation is necessary when it is reiterated throughout Genesis 3 -- the serpent was able to use its craftiness, subtlety, and superior wisdom to subjugate all of mankind. "The serpent deceived me, and I ate." For this atrocity, the serpent is condemned to being a serpent.

"And you, you have to crawl on your belly." "But I already...Oh no! Aw, yep, yep, yeah, you've done me." (Ricky Gervais)

You really don't believe that we can be imitators of God as dear children. Who among you would truly leave a loaded gun on the coffee table, invite a guy to try to trick your young children into using the gun, and hold them accountable for accidentally shooting something or someone while you're gone? It's completely negligent, absurd, and worthy of never repeating. You will demand that God is sovereign and is able to do what he needs to accomplish his plan while we are not. Further, you will assert that we should be thankful that God allowed us to be forgiven for such an egregious crime as having been born to human parents. Oh, the multitudes of people who will be praying to deaf ears on that final day, "Why didn't you make me a dog or a roach? Why did you have to give ME a mind to think that your demands are utter foolishness?"